Master approves! (by kpt_darling)


(by kpt_darling)
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Jack: There you go! I can taste it! Oestrogen. Definitely oestrogen. Take the pill, flush it away, it enters the water cycle. Feminizes the fish. Goes all the way up into the sky then falls all the way back down onto me. Contraceptives in the rain. Love this planet. Still, at least I won't get pregnant. Never doing that again.
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Jack: All right, usual formation.
Gwen: What's the usual formation?
Owen: Varies.
Gwen: How can the usual formation vary?
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Gwen: He just...
Jack: [deadpan] Came and went.
Owen: Now that's how I'd like to go.
Tosh: That can be arranged.
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Owen: I started looking into devil worship and stuff from that era [the 1800s], see if there's anything about plucking out hearts, and would you believe it, there's nothing! They ate eyeballs, they drank blood, they had sex with animals, but they did not pluck out each others' hearts, because obviously, that would have been weird.
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Ianto: [to Jack] You know, I still have that stopwatch.
Jack: So?
Ianto: Think about it, lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.
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Jack: Under any other circumstances, an exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning.
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John: You've got a team!
How sweet! Do you have a team name? I love team names, go on.
Jack: Torchwood.
John: Oh. Not Excalibur? Blizzard? Bikini Cops? No? Torchwood. Oh, dear.
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Gwen: John's right. Sorry, do you prefer John or Captain?
John: With eyes like yours, you call me Vera I won't complain.
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Jack: Oh, by the way, I found your diary.
Ianto: Ah, yes, I've been looking for that. [starts to walk away]
Jack: And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.
Ianto: [silently] Fuck.
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Martha: So, Jack asked me if I could get you a UNIT cap to wear.
Ianto: Did he? Well, red is my colour.
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